Himself

Here are Bowser's musings, originally posted on the Daily Drool Basset Board. Spurred on by his basset buddies and their owners, he described his brand-new world in a way which only Bowser can.

A great thanks is owed to each and every Drool friend for their support , their kindness and their good friendship -- not just to Bowser and his mom, but to the many bassets hounds out there needing homes, transportation and medical help.

In some spots, a link will take the reader to a page of replies. In other places, one can only imagine . . .

CHEESEBURGER!!!

Bowser have CHEESEBURGER first day him come Maine! Cheeseburger very very good. Him almost get lots lots cheeseburger! Bowser dad drive up little window. Bowser climb out car window, in little cheeseburger window! Whole cheeseburger factory!!!! Cheeseburger factory people NOT impress. Say, THIS IS NOT SELF-SERVICE CHEESEBURGER FACTORY, SIR! Oh. Seem like good idea to him! Next time, him know: sit tight, cheeseburger come out little window to HIM! Him also think, next time, would like fries with that, please . . .

Bowser Resolution

Bowser Mom come after Ethel breakfast, sniff sniff. Say What’s this??. Wipe wipe wipe. Squirt squirt. Wipe wipe. Ajax go, sniff, drag ears, sneeze. Ethel roll eyes. Ethel say: My New Year’s resolution is to lose MORE than two pounds! Ajax say, ROO ROO ROO.!!! Ethel stare at Ajax. Ajax say, I resolve to excel in my mail-order philosophy course. Bowser think, think very hard. Ethel say, Anything you need to resolve NOT TO DO, mermaid-butt? Bowser feel sad. Bowser feel ashamed, very ashamed. Bowser not even know INSIDE very long ago. Say to Ethel, Bowser did it. Not little fairies spill drinks around Ethel dinner bowl!. Bowser did it and Bowser RESOLVE not do it again!

Bowser Learn Poetry!

Today Bowser mom very busy. Sit at desk. Look out window. Bowser go out, come in. Go out. Look at Bowser mom in window, come back in. Ethel say, It’s POETRY, Mermaid-Butt, you’d better get used to it. Ajax say, Yeah, POETRY, give up, Bowser, you won’t see her again for at least a YEAR! Ajax sleep, Ethel sleep. Bowser sad, want to play, want to be with Bowser mom. Go in study, put big Bowser head on Bowser mom lap. Wiggle. Moan. Bowser mom pat head, say, Calm down Bow-Bow. Say, This is Poetry. Say, This is Big --- This is Death and Commas, Bow-Bow! Bowser go lie on pillow beside Bowser mom desk. CLICK! Bowser hear click! Bowser wonder, How she make that click??? Then Bowser mom give Bowser treat. Bowser eat treat, make Bowser very happy! Bowser get up, tap dance. Wiggle wiggle, mooooaaaannnnn!!!. No click. Bowser give up. Go back to pillow, lie down, CLICK! Bowser mom give ANOTHER treat! Then Bowser get smart! Bowser get very very smart! Now Bowser quit wiggle, quit moan. Bowser lie on pillow. Him very very still. Him very very quiet. Bowser POETRY too!

Bowser NOT Sea monkey!!!

Bowser mom find out all top-secret Sea monkey news on Sea Monkey Board! Say, some kid mom throw away directions. Kid not know when feed Sea Monkeys. Oh dear, Bowser think. Bowser mom say, feed every four weeks, six weeks. OH DEAR Bowsr think. Someone else ask What color sea monkeys after 2 days? Gray? Silver? Bowser ask Bowser mom, what Sea Monkey anyway? Bowser mom say, millions and millions live in very small tank of water. Bowser think, sound like puppy mill. Wonder, sea monkeys eat sea nanners? YUCK! Bowser very very glad him not Sea Monkey!

Bowser SNOW!!!

Bowser get up. Bowser mom sleep. Bowser tap dance, wiggle. Moan. Moan moan moan. Bowser shriek, put big Bowser nose in Bowser mom face, say, OUT OUT OUT! Bowser want out! Bowser want big Bowser day begin! Bowser mom get up, pat Bowser head. Ajax Ethel up. Bowser mom open door, Ajax out, Ethel out, Bowser look. Oh dear. World white. Oh dear oh dear. Whole yard white! Bowser change big plan. Run. Hide in Bowser mom bed!!!

Bowser Work So Hard

Bowser up very early. Ajax up, Ethel and Bowser dad up. Bowser, Ajax, Ethel go for walk with Bowser dad. Come home. Bowser, Ajax, Ethel climb in bed with Bowser Mom, sleep. Today Bowser mom tired, very tired. Sleep sleep sleep. Bowser get up, think . Think, maybe Bowser mom need best toy??? Bowser look in toy box. Him responsible citizen. Want work hard. Take out big bear, growly tiger. Bowser take out two three bone. Bowser take out squeaky pink mouse, rawhide chew. Take out little ball, big ball, take out rope thing. Still not right toy. Bowser take out two three nylabone, kong. Find beef baseball. Take out roar-lion, police car, train. Find old hoof, then Ethel road-kill baby. Bowser make house so pretty! Toys toys toys and then Bowser mom get up, give Bowser kiss, Ajax kiss, Ethel kiss. Walk in kitchen, say, Oh Bowser! You’ve been working SO hard!

Bowser Big Knobbly Toes

Today Bowser go beach! Bowser dad open car, Ajax out. Ethel out. Bowser, need little help, out. Beach big. Bowser think beach big but not as big as last time. Bowser think too much water. Water very big and very very wiggly. Ajax, Ethel run through sand, jump in water. Ajax splash, Ethel splash. Bowser say, Sorry, forget suit! Ajax say come on, Bowser! Ethel say, yeah, Squid-Lips, come on! Bowser stay on sand. Trot trot trot, maybe run a little. Maybe happy happy. Then worst thing happen! Bowser look, no more sand! Only water! And Ethel, Ajax, Bowser dad all on other side! Oh dear. Ethel say, Hope no shark come, Mister Pee-On-My-Breakfast! Say, shark love to gobble up big knobbly basset toes! Oh dear. Bowser try climb sand mountain. Try go other way. Bowser go all way around world other way to get to Ajax, Ethel without lose big toes. Then Bowser dad come back across water, pick Bowser up, carry him over. Back down on sand Bowser so happy! Give Bowser dad biggest kiss! Every Bowser toe still there!

One Month Bowser

Bowser sit in hall, watch. Bowser mom open thing in hall go tock tock. Bowser put head way inside, maybe little bit food ? Bowser mom pull chain, Bowser put head outside again. Thing go bong bong very soon, Bowser guess. Ethel snore on bed. Ajax slide down hall, crash into tock tock thing. Make it go CLANG PING. Jump up, kiss Bowser mom. Bowser mom close tock tock thing, say, Bowser's been here for one month today. Pat Bowser head. Give Bowser big kiss. Ajax yell ROO ROO ROO. Ethel still snore. Bowser love Bowser mom. Love Bowser mom so much make tail start again. Bowser need tail help. One whole month tail never stop wag. Wag wag wag. Bowser tail wag when him wake up in morning. Tail wag when him go for walk with Ajax, Ethel, Bowser dad. Tail wag when him crawl back into bed with Bowser mom. Wag wag wag at breakfast. Wag wag when Bowser mom go to work, come home, when him go out, come in, fall asleep, wake up, play with toys, eat, pee, run! Bowser tail VERY VERY TIRED!!!

Today Bowser Many Mails

Tonight Bowser mom say, Jeepers Bow Bow, you get more mail than I do! Bowser think, mail?? Little bit tap dance. Tap tap, wag wag. Bowser ready for biscuit, but no mailman come. Look at this, Bowser mom say, tap tap on puter screen. Bowser think, maybe she mean ROAST BEEF?? Sit, wait. Bowser lie down on bed in Bowser mom study. Think. Think hard. Maybe she mean YUMMY TREATS??? Whole house asleep. Ajax alseep, Ethel asleep, Bowser dad alseep, Onion asleep. Bowser tired. Bowser mom say, you know you have friends all over the world, Big Guy. Bowser wag sleepy tail, think breakfast. Maybe get some chicken, maybe little cheese on top? Tomorrow maybe sun again? And ball? Ajax, Ethel, Bowser play run run run, play ball. . . and neighbor dogs come down the street, Say, Howdy Bowser . . ..

Bowser Mom VERY TIRED!!!

Bowser mom very lazy. Sleep sleep sleep. Bowser sleep,too. Undercovers, then on top. Ajax sleep, too. Ethel say Bowser mom got flukes. Bowser say, what flukes? Ethel say, Flukes, dumb-butt, are little worms that crawl around in your brain and steal all your dreams. Then you have to lie in bed and make some more dreams. It takes days and days. Oh, say Bowser. Ajax say, IS NOT!! Say, Mom tired, making big spider web at night. Take all Bowser and Ajax and Ethel pictures & stories and put on spider web. She say very hard work. Bowser think maybe little bit flukes and spider webs both.

Bowser have many many snow & worrisome breakfast!!!

Bowser get up. Go door, oh dear! Go back bed. Bowser dad get up. Put on boots, coat. Ajax jump, dance. Ajax go ROO ROO ROO!! Ethel run around, Ethel dance. Ethel even yell, SNOOOOOWWW!!! Ethel love snow. Ajax love everything. Bowser hide in hall. Ajax out, Ethel out. Bowser dad say, Come on Bow Bow. Bow Bow NOT come on. Bowser dad pull. Bowser mom push. Push! pull! push! pull! Bowser out in snow. Snow not so bad. Everybody run and play. Hide ball, dig ball up, run run run, then Bowser back inside. Warm. All by himself. Have little breakfast. Now very worry. Bowser breakfast very very good. Bowser mom say, you like leftovers? Bowser say, mmmmmm!! Like like like!!! little tap dance. Bowser mom say, moose stew always good for a cold boy. OOHH DEARRR, Bowser think, MOOSE STEW????

Note!

Bowser think, Maybe wait right here

Today Ajax up, Ethel up, Bowser up. Get on leash with Bowser dad, go walk. Very cold. Very snow and Bowser think, WARM! Bowser think Bowser ears warm, Bowser tail warm, Bowser back warm. Even Bowser belly warm. Bowser feet not warm. Bowser feet very very cold. Bowser think warm warm warm, but still Bowser feet NOT warm. Bowser lie down in road. Ajax say ROO ROO ROO! Ethel say, Come on, Speed-Bump. Bowser dad stand Bowser up, go few more steps. Bowser lie down in road again, think Maybe Bowser wait right here . . .

Bowser think, maybe just go Bowser Home

Today Bowser up, Ajax up, Ethel up. Get on leash go walk. Walk very cold. Bowser walk slow, Ethel walk slow. Bowser want lie down, wait. Think, not dare. Think, Bobo say Bowser rudder maybe stick to road. Bowser no want that. Too cold. Very very cold. Bowser think, just maybe go home, wait there. Think, bang on door Bowser mom let Bowser in. TOO COLD him decide, make big Bowser head small, very very small. Squeeze Bowser head out collar, turn big Bowser self around go home!!! Bowser dad follow. Ajax Ethel follow. Bowser trot trot trot down road, climb steps, wait. Bowser dad come. Put collar back on. Say, Come on, Bow Bow, this isn't our house. Oh dear. BOWSER SO EMBARRASS!!!

Friends talk back!

Bowser P.S.

Tonight get new Bowser collar. Like Ethel, no head slip out!!! Bowser dad say, only go out water tree in yard when very very cold. No more cold Bowser walk!!

Bowser Sleepy, Very Bowser Happy

Sometime Bowser sit, think. Old Bowser life, snow snow, cold cold, wet wet. Now Bowser life, snow mean play, come inside. Cold mean get in Bowser mom bed, snuggle. Wet mean Bowser mom get towel, make dry. Tonight Bowser lie on Bowser mom bed. Ajax, Bowser dad snore. Bowser warm. Wag tail. Just little. Just little bit wag. Think Belle, think Boondoggle, think Miss Astor think Rufus, think Buckwheat, think Tess, think Peachy . . . .

Friends talk back!

Bowser, Ajax, Contemplate Star

Some night Bowser, Ajax sit out on cold frame. Ajax look at star, Bowser look at star. Many star. Ajax say, Bowser, who take care of star? Bowser think. Think some more, say, You mean who love, who feed star Ajax? Bowser sit down, slide. Cold frame cold on Bowser butt. Bowser keep think, think star. Think star, very hard. Ajax lean on Bowser shoulder, say, Cold out! Bowser say, Very cold out. Maybe Bowser, Ajax, go inside with Ethel? Ajax lift nose, say, Look Bowser! Shooting star! Bowser lift nose, see bright star go and go and go through sky. Ajax say Where it go Bowser? Bowser think, think very hard, say, Maybe go forever home, Ajax? You mean like Bowser? Ajax say. Bowser no think at all, say, Like Bowser.

More Bowser Tale???